take five (take another five)

so, all apologies. i have completely neglected this thing since spring. life has been crazy (but when isn't it, right?) so, let's start by recapping the key life-changing moments of this summer in as few words as possible:

-moved into my apartment in early june
-had a bangin' b-day on the 25th of that month, which led to the inevidible of me and long-time friend lindsey talking out a few things and deciding to start dating towards the holidays.
-went to the northeastern coast up around providence and boston for 4th of july (see sounding forth's entry lol)
-started seriously testing my limits. played with fire, got burned. had a 2 pack habit, usually went days without sleep. spent a lot of time M.I.A. and wrote half of a notebook worth of material.
-randomly signed up to go to the country of Haiti with my college group pastor, my might as well be brother, and a handful of other people.
-August 13th: Zoie dies that morning, i get a phone call that afternoon that the beagle pup i tried to save the night before had died after surgery, and by 4 PM i'm heading down the the road to make my flight to Haiti (the week leading up to my departure has been labelled as the worst week of the summer. bernie mac and isaac hayes died, zoie and other pup soon after, along with dozens of other disasters)
-decided August 14th to come back to Haiti ASAP after a life-changing encounter.
-quit smoking while i was there almost effortlessly
-came back to the states on the 20th; complete culture shock, didnt talk on the way home.
-went off the deep end; hit an on and off depression that's just now starting to lighten up. the few friends i talked to thought i had checked out.

so far, i'm planning on going back to Haiti in October for a month-long internship at the Mission of Hope Haiti, with 3 other friends, and may go back before that as early as mid-Sept.

i haven't had a single nicotene craving since i've been back.

anyway, last week i went up to dallas a few times. bought a new guitar, it's a lovely 1989 Gibson j-180 that i got for under a grand with case, capo, strap, tuner, and 20 picks. needless to say, i got an amazing deal. went to see tom petty and the heartbreakers a few days later, he played one of the best shows i think i'll ever see. so far it's top 5 on my list. amazing.

right now, sarah and i are debating going to austin for a few days since it's labor day. not sure how far that notion will go lol.

anyway, i'm gonna try to start posting a lot more since i should have time and i'm starting to settle down a little bit. thanks for keeping the faith lol.

one love
-T

take five...

so, things are slowing down. thank buddha. went to sleep at a decent hour last night, and woke up around 7 am. yesterday gave me a chance to relax, since my flight was cancelled due to the planes having to go through their annual inspections, and my morning class being a study period for other classes. so, sarah came over around 1, and she took me to go get lunch after which we went back to the house to play wii and chill at the house. later the guys came over and we watched a couple of movies. anyway, today it's back to the grind, and i have a psychology test later today (easy A haha). the morning has crept by ever so slowly, allowing me to relax a little bit and watch zach run around outside, and i even had time to write a movie review for my mass comm class, which is in a couple of hours. i've also gotten back on a regular eating schedule and cut back on the tubackee. apparently less ihop time means less nicotene, since i dont much care to smoke unless i have coffee and good company around. guess thats a good thing. cigars are a different story though...but those arent so bad anyway.

anyhoo, i need to get ready for class and eat something before i leave. just thought i'd update to let ya'll know it's all good.

later days
-T

i wanna be sedated....

the past couple of weeks have felt like a blur. since the last post i've "grown fond" of cigarettes, barely pushed one meal a day, slept primarily between the hours of 5 and 9 am, sometimes 11 am, and written 4 songs, all of which have occured unintentionally. in fact, i feel like i haven't had control over anything thats happened, especially this past week and this weekend...but i definitely take responsibility for it all. truth is though, i haven't had an appetite this entire time, so i never THINK to eat, and i feel like i have to always be doing something, so i can't sleep, but all the same, it's burning me out, and i know it's my own damn fault. right now i'm somewhere between "pulling into nazereth feeling half past dead" and "ty, you are a f**king retard." and it doesnt help that i cant say no to the majority of what my friends ask of me, and im actually about to leave here in a minute to hear out a friend in distress, because she just called me as i was typing this...yes, at freaking 3 am, and no, it can't wait til tomorrow morning, because her flight leaves at 7 am, and she says she's about to breakdown. the reason she's breaking down isn't something i can freely discuss, but it's genuine, and it's something i've personally gone through, so she's calling me, balling her eyes out. so obviously, i HAVE to go. and i do honestly WANT to go. because quite frankly, i think sedation is the only way i could pass out right now anyway.

so, off i go. hopefully i can catch a nap in between classes tomorrow, otherwise i'll have to wait after 4 when i get out. good golly miss molly, this is getting old.

anyway, i'll try and make another entry tomor...er....tonight...because i've had a lot on my mind and need to vent. until then, take it easy.

later days
-T

the perks of being a wallflower...

so, after impersonating a vegetable all day today, i decided to gather up a few friends and head over to ihop for our usual late night coffee time. i'm up there typically 4 nights out of the week, enough to have a designated booth and a familiar face for a server. these trips usually consist of coffee, cigarettes (dont really smoke but whatever), colorful conversation, and people watching. this is also when i write the majority of my ideas for my songs, and my friends are used to me going in and out of the conversation to scribble on a napkin and then proudly announce that i have a new lyric. anyway, tonight was no different. there were plenty of interesting characters assembled in the smoking area, which is the main reason i choose to sit there...that and the excellent source of second hand smoke....among them, an elderly gentleman that resembled william shatner in a trucker hat, a group of teens discussing politics (cant see that as the best way to relax, but to each their own, right?), and two women that my friend jack labeled as "butch"...to which i speculated,
"maybe they're just two friends conversing after a long day of having to work on a holiday"

"....oooor they could be butch," he replied....but to each their own, right?

right.

so i just shook my head and took another sip of coffee. probably sensing that i was about to dump my philosophy on the entire table once i set my coffee back down, my friend tyler quickly changed the subject.
"so where's pebbles again? i haven't seen her at all this week."

pebbles is one of my nicknames for sarah, whom you may have heard about on janie's blog - janie is basically her second mom.
"she's home for the weekend. she missed her family," i answered, "she'll be back sometime monday night"
tyler had succeeded in getting me off the subject, and our small talk continued until the server came over to get our food order, but i continued to observe the two women in the booth across the room. well, an hour passed and we were on our final cups of coffee, the ashtray was littered with butts, and plates left with few survivors of the late night munchies, when a man came in through the door and approached the two women in the booth, planting a big kiss on one of them.
"HA! i knew it! they're just friends, look that one has a BOYfriend," i explained

"....they're still butch," he replied, half laughing

*sigh* to each their own, right?

later days
-T

pause for dramatic effect...

so, looks like i chose the wrong time to start up a blog. the past 3 weeks have been crazy, and it will continue to be crazy until later next week. since i last updated i have: 1. moved, 2. discovered the many territories that come with menopause and mothers with abandonment issues, 3. been promoted/expanded departments at work, 4. confronted an old best-friend-turned-stalker, and 5. rediscovered my record collection (God bless willie nelson)

so, mainly due to me moving in with janie and her loving husband, aka my father, and me not being completely settled in yet, the internet really hasnt been that high on the priority list, as you could probably imagine. hopefully i will be able to get on more often in the future. a big thanks to those of you who commented my last entry for making my re-entry to the world of blogging a sweet one. it feels good getting personal again. i will make sure to make another entry asap.

'til then, later days.
-T

and so it begins...

so...long story short, due to requests from close friends, family, and my mass comm. instructor, i have decided to start blogging again. yes, again. you see, my instructor thinks it's a good way to keep your writing juices flowing (if he only knew) and suggested to me the other day that i start up a blog. well, i am no stranger to blogs - i was blogging before blogging was even called blogging, much less considered an honest-to-God American pastime. these were the days where us youngsters dumped our teen angst and hormone-induced confusion onto websites such as xanga and livejournal (neglected as they are, i still have accounts for both) and a time long before myspace became a fox news story/national phenomenon and destroyed the idea of intimacy on a website for people like me, because lets face it, facebook and myspace are the last places on earth that you're going to talk about your daily life, and definitely not the place for people who give a rats ass what happens in your daily life. they're more suited for asking your friend down the street, "whats up?" when a cell phone is too inconvenient, or showing everyone on your top friends that you have a genuine social life and you have photographic proof. yes, it does help you keep up with distant friends, but so did those other websites, and on an actual personal level.

so i guess what i'm saying is, i miss that.

for me it was therapy. writing in general has always been my form of venting, whether it be song writing, napkin doodling, or opinion papers for my psychology class, and it's been a major part of my life ever since i started having spurts of insomnia on a monthly basis around the age of 14.

anyway, enough of why i took up blogging again. hi, my name is ty. i'm young (19), but self-aware, and a lover of all things music. especially "old" music. i'm also a fan of things that are bad for me that can be later blamed on my youth. and sarcasm, if you hadn't picked that one out yet. i enjoy the simple things in life, like irony, sunsets, and walks on the beach. as well as a glass of wine now and then. i hear it's good for you, but in a "healthy choice" kinda way (how much healthy choice can you eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?) - which is where the whole "youth" thing comes into play. some people call that "irresponsible" or "reckless" - i call it the American way, baby.

fortunately for you, i'm not always sarcastic, and i do in fact have the ability to take things seriously, i just usually choose not to. i'd rather just sit back and watch celebrities lose weight on television or relax to Bob Marley's Legend.

well, i think that's about all i got in me for tonight. today has officially caught up with me and yawning has ensued. which reminds me to mention that it will be nothing short of miraculous if this thing gets updated more than once a week. okay, later days.

one love
-T