take five...

so, things are slowing down. thank buddha. went to sleep at a decent hour last night, and woke up around 7 am. yesterday gave me a chance to relax, since my flight was cancelled due to the planes having to go through their annual inspections, and my morning class being a study period for other classes. so, sarah came over around 1, and she took me to go get lunch after which we went back to the house to play wii and chill at the house. later the guys came over and we watched a couple of movies. anyway, today it's back to the grind, and i have a psychology test later today (easy A haha). the morning has crept by ever so slowly, allowing me to relax a little bit and watch zach run around outside, and i even had time to write a movie review for my mass comm class, which is in a couple of hours. i've also gotten back on a regular eating schedule and cut back on the tubackee. apparently less ihop time means less nicotene, since i dont much care to smoke unless i have coffee and good company around. guess thats a good thing. cigars are a different story though...but those arent so bad anyway.

anyhoo, i need to get ready for class and eat something before i leave. just thought i'd update to let ya'll know it's all good.

later days
-T

i wanna be sedated....

the past couple of weeks have felt like a blur. since the last post i've "grown fond" of cigarettes, barely pushed one meal a day, slept primarily between the hours of 5 and 9 am, sometimes 11 am, and written 4 songs, all of which have occured unintentionally. in fact, i feel like i haven't had control over anything thats happened, especially this past week and this weekend...but i definitely take responsibility for it all. truth is though, i haven't had an appetite this entire time, so i never THINK to eat, and i feel like i have to always be doing something, so i can't sleep, but all the same, it's burning me out, and i know it's my own damn fault. right now i'm somewhere between "pulling into nazereth feeling half past dead" and "ty, you are a f**king retard." and it doesnt help that i cant say no to the majority of what my friends ask of me, and im actually about to leave here in a minute to hear out a friend in distress, because she just called me as i was typing this...yes, at freaking 3 am, and no, it can't wait til tomorrow morning, because her flight leaves at 7 am, and she says she's about to breakdown. the reason she's breaking down isn't something i can freely discuss, but it's genuine, and it's something i've personally gone through, so she's calling me, balling her eyes out. so obviously, i HAVE to go. and i do honestly WANT to go. because quite frankly, i think sedation is the only way i could pass out right now anyway.

so, off i go. hopefully i can catch a nap in between classes tomorrow, otherwise i'll have to wait after 4 when i get out. good golly miss molly, this is getting old.

anyway, i'll try and make another entry tomor...er....tonight...because i've had a lot on my mind and need to vent. until then, take it easy.

later days
-T