i wanna be sedated....

the past couple of weeks have felt like a blur. since the last post i've "grown fond" of cigarettes, barely pushed one meal a day, slept primarily between the hours of 5 and 9 am, sometimes 11 am, and written 4 songs, all of which have occured unintentionally. in fact, i feel like i haven't had control over anything thats happened, especially this past week and this weekend...but i definitely take responsibility for it all. truth is though, i haven't had an appetite this entire time, so i never THINK to eat, and i feel like i have to always be doing something, so i can't sleep, but all the same, it's burning me out, and i know it's my own damn fault. right now i'm somewhere between "pulling into nazereth feeling half past dead" and "ty, you are a f**king retard." and it doesnt help that i cant say no to the majority of what my friends ask of me, and im actually about to leave here in a minute to hear out a friend in distress, because she just called me as i was typing this...yes, at freaking 3 am, and no, it can't wait til tomorrow morning, because her flight leaves at 7 am, and she says she's about to breakdown. the reason she's breaking down isn't something i can freely discuss, but it's genuine, and it's something i've personally gone through, so she's calling me, balling her eyes out. so obviously, i HAVE to go. and i do honestly WANT to go. because quite frankly, i think sedation is the only way i could pass out right now anyway.

so, off i go. hopefully i can catch a nap in between classes tomorrow, otherwise i'll have to wait after 4 when i get out. good golly miss molly, this is getting old.

anyway, i'll try and make another entry tomor...er....tonight...because i've had a lot on my mind and need to vent. until then, take it easy.

later days
-T